I’ve been a little MIA lately. Over the course of a couple weeks we went from my husband’s hours being cut at work, wondering how we were going to make it living in Louisiana to packing up our house and 3 kids to move to Texas for a new job. It’s been a whirlwind.
My husband actually moved up 2 weeks before the kids and I did and talk about madness. Me, 3 kids and packing to do. Talk about juggling act. We survived though and are all back together in Hill Country but that’s not really what this post is about.
About a week before we left Louisiana, I decided to brave the grocery store with three, very cranky kids. It was hard to get what I needed while juggling who wanted to be held and who was on the brink of a tantrum in the store. Needless to say my trip was cut short due to my frustration and the looks I got. Not only did I get looks, I got comments and questions.
“Are they all yours?”
“Did you plan to have that many?”
“Those two of have to be twins.”
“You must drink a lot.”
or my all time favorite side remark that people don’t think I can hear….
“That’s why we aren’t having more kids funny”
I mean come on now. Are we serious people? When did this become a thing?
Growing up I was 1 of 5 kids in my class that didn’t have a sibling and most of the kids in my class had 2-3 siblings. Families where typically made up for 4 or more. Now don’t get me wrong some people can only afford, or physically have only one kid I’m not knocking those people. I’m not even really complaining about the people who have kids. I’m simply just shocked about the fact that society has made having multiple kids such a strange and terrible thing. Isn’t it bad enough that we have to battle our own emotions and scrutiny, now we have to worry about being judged in public for our choices of how many kids we chose to have, how close in age they are or how we raise them.
So here’s a note to all you mom of multiples (and moms in general).
WAY TO GO!
Sure, sometimes the kids run around in just diapers and eat lunch off a unswept floor. Most nights we go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink and clean laundry crashed out on the couch. Our Pinterest boards are filled with grand ideas that rarely come true and our uniforms are made up of sweat pants, t-shirts and pulled back hair. Life is crazy, messy and always smelly (excuse me I need to go change a diaper or two) but you’re kids are alive. What we see as failed art projects are some of their favorite memories. Laundry piles become like fall leaf piles made for jumping in or clean sheets become tents. Dirty dishes equal picnics on the floors and eating with their hands. Only you see your shortcomings. Your kid sees a mom who’s present. Forget those people who think or look at you like you’re crazy. You know where you were before you’re blessings and you know the cost, effort and love you putting into each one of those precious lives. They are the ones missing out.
After paying and loading up my groceries (and kids) into the car, this older lady stopped me in the parking lot. With her kind eyes she looked at me with compassion and sheer joy.
“I had 9 kids by the time I was 35, doctors told me I would never be able to have one. When that first baby came I knew I wanted more. Such a precious gift to see brothers and sisters experience life together from toddlers to adulthood. It’s hard work but the blessings are worth it. I only wish more women would experience it. Be proud of yourself cause darling you’re a dying breed.”
I got in and started my car, some kid song came on the radio, my 10 month old fussed for a moment till he cooled down and the older 2 started singing as loud as they could and in that moment I didn’t feel guilt, frustration or exhaustion. I just felt refreshed.
Moms are a dying breed, good ones at least. So if you are a mom who’s tired, overwhelmed at the brink of an emotional break down. Be proud and realize if you feel that way, you’re doing something right.